Sweet 16: Prognostificationism
March. The 3rd month of the year. Usually regarded as the time of year that goes out like a lion. More heavily regarded as the most glorious 31 days red-blooded American males ages 2-76 could ask for. March is when dreams are made, and colleges’ existences justified. You think Davidson would still be a viable institution if it weren’t for Stephen Curry taking the 10 seed and single-handedly shoving it where the sun doth not shine? I think not.
Already 23 days through the month of Madness, and we have our Sweet 16. What started as the Sizzling 64.5 (Sorry Morehead State, just not that impressed) has now dwindled past the Thrilling 32 and right on into respectability. The teams that are left are the best of the best of the best of the best, the schools that are now considering adding Bracketology as a major, the greatest athletic and scholarshiply institutions in our world today. This tournament is like sex, only better, because we don’t feel bad for watching for 3 weeks straight.
Here’s my take on the Sweet 16 matchups (I’ll try to be short and sweet):
UConn vs. Purdue
UConn, you have 3 dudes that are 11 feet tall, and your point guard wears a size 37 shoe. If you blow this, you’ll not only be losing against a Big 10 team (lolbigten), but you’ll probably lose me 50 bucks.
Missouri vs. Memphis
I think Missouri’s overrated, but most of that is just residual of Chase Daniel. Mizzwho, here’s your chance to prove me wrong.
UNC vs. Gonzaga
The Zags’ best chance in this game is the refs not seeing Roy Williams or the entire UNC team trying to call a timeout. (Sorry Western Kentucky, but I picked Gonzaga so I can’t rally your cause any further)
Syracuse vs. Oklahoma
Here’s a classic case of who I want to win versus who I think will win. Let us pray. Dear Lord, please make Blake Griffin immune to physical stress and pain for just one game.
Villanova vs. Duke
I like Nova, but then again, it’s Duke.
Pittsburgh vs. Xavier
Xavier has the chance to practically hand me 50 dollars. Go Xavier.
Mich St vs. Kansas
Big 12 vs. Big 10. I like Kansas by 10.
Louisville vs. Arizona
Arizona has run its course in terms of doing my bracket good. Louisville by double digits.
All in all, look for a great weekend of basketball.
Oh, and Boomer Sooner.

